Hello

It is March 14th, and by no means the beginning of our COVID-19 experience. I am writing out of the Portland, Oregon area. Right now, it feels like we are living in an unforgettable time. And yet, I know that an undocumented day, week, or month so quickly disappears from memory. Details are so hard to hold onto. So here I am, putting into words some of my experience.

It's not that I am extraordinary. I'm very ordinary. If anything, my household has a lot going for us. We are two 30-somethings with no children. We own our house (although we've really only paid off interest so far) and we can work from home. We have plenty of food and -yes - toilet paper. We are fairly healthy.

I wanted to try to capture what this past week has felt like.

My partner left for a business trip a week ago on March 7th. At that point in time we had confirmed cases in Oregon (the first case was announced on February 28th), but the threat did not feel present. Every time I worried it felt like I was overreacting. He headed off to California and I stayed in Oregon. I went to work on Monday and spent the entire day with my team - we had a potluck and went over a training plan we were hoping to share with over 1000 people throughout the state in the next 6 weeks.

By the end of the day Monday, we had decided to switch our training curriculum to an online platform. At the time we thought we might be overly worried about this, but wanted to accommodate our partners, some of whom had already prohibited community meetings. We crafted an email explanation that was almost apologetic in nature, and steered away from any strong disease-related language.

By Tuesday, we had sent out emails to cancel our monthly community meetings with one last in-person meeting planned for Wednesday morning. It felt like too late to make a change and the risk did not feel high. By Thursday we had switched entirely to webinars. In a team huddle on Thursday afternoon I argued with another team member over whether we should all meet as a team again next Monday. By Friday, that Monday meeting was cancelled.

In Oregon, our Governor moved with a speed I am proud of. On Wednesday, gatherings of 250 or more people were banned across the state. By late Thursday the announcement came out to close all schools in the state, starting Monday. However testing is still miles behind where it should be, and it feels like most of our positive and presumptive cases are community spread, meaning that they are evidence of the worst outcomes, not the actual spread. On Thursday my county, Clackamas, officially joined the list of counties with confirmed cases. A man roughly my own age, connected to a Washington County case.

It feels like every single corporation I have ever given my email to has now sent me their COVID-19 plan, and many are revising these to be more stringent each day. Restaurants, clothing stores, gyms, all with news and guidelines to convince us we are safe. They are safe. I am starting to see some targeted ads of the "stuck at home? order this!" variety.

By all accounts, it looks like we are still headed towards an Italy model for this pandemic, which is terrifying. Our grocery stores are packed, shelves emptying. Hand sanitizer is gone, everywhere. Toilet paper is next on the hard-to-find list. Rice, bread, ramen.. I stopped by a few stores and each had a slightly unique set of outages, based on the restocking rate and the customers present. I was lucky, I could do my shopping while most were still at work. I made sure my car gas tank was full.

My partner pushed his return flight to Friday morning. I drove to the airport with trepidation. We're both aware that we have different risk patterns, and we're on the lookout for any sign of illness. We have a thermometer that I think about checking every hour or so, but I've held myself to 2-3 checks a day so far.

I don't have the brainpower to talk about our federal messaging and leadership right now. If I get started down that path, I may not be able to dig myself out.

Writing out my experience may be useful for my mental health, and it may not. I realized, sitting in my house while snow falls outside (a strange mid-March omen) that this is an unprecedented time. Historic, even. And I want to capture a small bit of it for posterity.

As of today I believe I am healthy. Or mostly so. It's hard to gauge. No fever. No dry cough. I am 33 years old. In one week I turn 34.