Scarcity

I am a person who can switch to a rationing/scarcity mindset at the drop of a hat.

This can be as mundane as: I have a bag of skittles. I really only like the green skittles, and there are some flavors (purple and orange) that I actively dislike. So I will actually eat the gross ones first and save the green ones for last. I will try to draw out the experience of the best skittles as long as possible, eating one at a time after all the others are gone. Why do I even eat the ones I don't like? I don't know. I honestly don't have a good answer.

So taking the extremely low stakes scarcity example above, you can begin to imagine what I am like now, at a time where I am seriously contemplating whether it is a good idea to go grocery shopping even once a week. I have a privilege where I can technically make ends meet for weeks with what we have.

My partner does not share my predilection. When I brought up a one pot of coffee per day maximum you would have thought I suggested we replace coffee with poop water. He is coming around though, and we are negotiating terms on a variety of supplies and activities.

In some ways, my brain has been validated by current events, and not in a good way. It is so tempting to hoard. I am trying to not buy like crazy, because that's not useful either. We take stock of soap, toilet paper, fruits and veggies, cat litter, pet food.

I'm trying to find ways to not feel like this. We have enough food to last a long time if we need to, although that would mean not having coffee everyday and relying on canned and frozen fruits and veggies rather than the fresh stuff.

I am also realizing that by opting out of grocery stores we may be helping those who don't have the resources to stockpile, and who need to venture out to get necessities. It's not that supplies aren't out there, it's that getting them stocked is posing a problem.

We are tempering this with a once weekly take out/delivery in our attempt to still support the businesses who are open and trying to find a new model for success.

Also, I've had alcohol every single day this week. lololol

*sigh* that's all.